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sir. >> jon: and it was a raid. is that unusual to be on a day raid like that? >> for us it is unusual. >> jon: you're an army ranger. >> yeah, we don't normally do daylight raids, but the necessity to get out there and get this high value target and the time of day, we had to act on it. >> jon: in the beginning of it, you are wounded early on in the fight? >> yes, shot through both thighs. i actually didn't realize it until i got to the medics later, but i thought i was just shot in the left leg. it had stuck in there or something. i didn't feel it go all the way through both legs. so i was running around doing things for a little bit. [laughter] i know that sounds odd. >> jon: i could stop you there. and be very proud of your service and all you did. so in this... now, you are really a veteran in this group. you have been to afghanistan. this was your sixth tour. and you had two tours in iraq. >> actually, it was my fifth tour. i've been back since. >> jon: you've been back to afghanistan for another tour since yo
sir. >> jon: and it was a raid. is that unusual to be on a day raid like that? >> for us it is unusual. >> jon: you're an army ranger. >> yeah, we don't normally do daylight raids, but the necessity to get out there and get this high value target and the time of day, we had to act on it. >> jon: in the beginning of it, you are wounded early on in the fight? >> yes, shot through both thighs. i actually didn't realize it until i got to the medics later, but i...
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. >>> coming up, jon stewart cannot help himself. he cannot control his deep desire to make gay jokes about michele bachmann's husband. so he needs a therapist to help him pray away the gay jokes. that therapist is jerry seinfeld. you'll have that latest in the show. don't miss it. >>> and later, when republican house leader eric cantor says he will never vote for a tax increase of any kind, he is forgetting one little thing about his own record on taxes. luckily for him and the political media has also forgotten it, too. but i'll be reminding him and the political media of the day eric cantor voted to raise income taxes. that's in my "rewrite" tonight. 50 billion network devices will roam the earth. that's seven devices per person. this will change how we work in ways we've never before imagined. what do you need to secure your people, their devices, and your business? a network that can evolve and grow to protect your human network. ♪ [ male announcer ] the davis twins... ...are alike in nearly every way... ...right down to brush
. >>> coming up, jon stewart cannot help himself. he cannot control his deep desire to make gay jokes about michele bachmann's husband. so he needs a therapist to help him pray away the gay jokes. that therapist is jerry seinfeld. you'll have that latest in the show. don't miss it. >>> and later, when republican house leader eric cantor says he will never vote for a tax increase of any kind, he is forgetting one little thing about his own record on taxes. luckily for him and...
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is jon stewart, man! do we have a good show for you tonight. tonight's guest peter tomsen, author of a new book "the wars of afghanistan" that's right, plural, wars. as you know, debt ceiling discussions, coming down to the wire. political leaders on both sides pulling out all the stops. all the stops. like the kind of stops that high school football coaches use before homecoming games in particular at thiscious small towns. >> kevin mccarthy a third ranking republican in the house urged republicans to unite behind boehner's plan by showing this clip from the movie "the town" >> the town? (laughter) "the town", no rudy-- "rudy" "brian song" or "300" or "rocky" or "rocky 2" or "rocky 3" or really any of the "rockies" you went with the boston bank rubbers in nun costumes clip. >> well, there is going to be good. (laughter) let's see the clip-- (cheers and applause) >> that the republicans used, let's see the clip that the republicans used to urge their hard line tea party freshman coalition to drop their ob
is jon stewart, man! do we have a good show for you tonight. tonight's guest peter tomsen, author of a new book "the wars of afghanistan" that's right, plural, wars. as you know, debt ceiling discussions, coming down to the wire. political leaders on both sides pulling out all the stops. all the stops. like the kind of stops that high school football coaches use before homecoming games in particular at thiscious small towns. >> kevin mccarthy a third ranking republican in the...
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name is jon stewart. big show. big, big, big, big, big show. our guests tonight, we have on tonight's program pakistan's former president pervez musharraf. my guess is we'll have a delightful beverage and a lovely conversation. (cheers and applause) so let's begin tonight with the on going "news of the world" phone hacking scandal. to get you caught up, a seemingly simple story. ma and pa owned newspaper hacking into a murdered little girl's phone and... (laughter). ... paying the police to cover it up. has unfortunately turned ugly. (laughter) as of now, london's two top policemen at scotland yard let's call them officer blu rotton has resigned. andrew colton has been arrested and sunday tragically authorities arrested poor mrs. weasley. (laughter) wait, no that's not mrs. weasley. sorry, tragically, authorities arrested the guy from simply red. yeah, that's it. actually, arrested was rebekah brooks, the woman who ran "news of the world" during the worst of-- as the british call them-- the troubles. (lau
name is jon stewart. big show. big, big, big, big, big show. our guests tonight, we have on tonight's program pakistan's former president pervez musharraf. my guess is we'll have a delightful beverage and a lovely conversation. (cheers and applause) so let's begin tonight with the on going "news of the world" phone hacking scandal. to get you caught up, a seemingly simple story. ma and pa owned newspaper hacking into a murdered little girl's phone and... (laughter). ... paying the...
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[laughter] >> jon: jon stewart, "the daily show." i have a quick question. as a frequent radioshack customer, i may be qualified to tell you what may be an issue with your plan, but go ahead. >> the problem with it was the limited battery life. [laughter and applause] >> jon: see, the batteries at radioshack are designed to work with one of those little remote control helicopters that work... once. [laughter] so now that we know the g.p.s. tracking system for the assault rifles we sold mexican cartels didn't work, how do we find out where the guns are? what is plan "b"? >> the only way you're going to find those guns in mexico is where? >> at crime scenes in which either the bad guy was killed and his gun was left at the scene or used during the commission of a crime in which the gun was left behind. >> jon: okay. [laughter] so our plan to prevent american guns from being used in mexican gang violence is to provide mexican gangs american guns. [laughter] to use according to our plan. [laughter] how exactly did we convince the mexican government to cooperate
[laughter] >> jon: jon stewart, "the daily show." i have a quick question. as a frequent radioshack customer, i may be qualified to tell you what may be an issue with your plan, but go ahead. >> the problem with it was the limited battery life. [laughter and applause] >> jon: see, the batteries at radioshack are designed to work with one of those little remote control helicopters that work... once. [laughter] so now that we know the g.p.s. tracking system for the...
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>> jon: the anti-romney. he's a handsome mormon ex-governor with perceived softness on social issues. ( laughter ) he's not the anti-romney. he's the candidate for people who would vote for romney but are concerned romney has too much name recognition. ( laughter ) come on, people! give me somebody truly different. >> i personally think michele bachman, your colleague, is going to be a real challenger to mitt romney. >> jon: there you go, michele bachman. she couldn't be more different. he's a man. she's a lady. he's tall. she's short. he looks directly into the camera. she looks just to the right of it. ( laughter ) her campaign got off to a running start when she declared her candidacy in her birth place of waterloo, iowa. >> what i want them to know is just like john wayne was from woortly, iowa, that's the spirit i have, too. >> it looks like she got her john waynes confused. john wayne lived about 150 miles away from waterloo. john wayne gacy, who raped and killed 33 men and boys did live in waterloo bef
>> jon: the anti-romney. he's a handsome mormon ex-governor with perceived softness on social issues. ( laughter ) he's not the anti-romney. he's the candidate for people who would vote for romney but are concerned romney has too much name recognition. ( laughter ) come on, people! give me somebody truly different. >> i personally think michele bachman, your colleague, is going to be a real challenger to mitt romney. >> jon: there you go, michele bachman. she couldn't be more...
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jon, grow up. ( cheers and applause ) >> jon: welcome back. my guest tonight on broadway starring in how to succeed in business without really trying. you may know from harry potter and the deathly hallows, part 2. >> can you see anything? >> everything you touch will multiply. >> jon: come on. that looks cool. please welcome daniel radcliffe. ( cheers and applause ) nice to see you. thank you for being here. >> thank you very much. >> jon: i don't want spoilers. i don't want... i've not had a chance. does he get his ring back? >> yes. he's the central character in this film. >> jon: what an exciting time. how are you feeling right now? is it excitement over having this done? is it melancholy? bitter-sweet? what's the feeling? >> i don't know. it's weird. in the london premiere i was very emotional. i was kind of... it's been a year since we started filming. i guess i'm kind of focused on the show at the moment as well as still doing it eight times a week. i don't know. >> jon: are you doing the show tonight? >> no, no. monday is our night off
jon, grow up. ( cheers and applause ) >> jon: welcome back. my guest tonight on broadway starring in how to succeed in business without really trying. you may know from harry potter and the deathly hallows, part 2. >> can you see anything? >> everything you touch will multiply. >> jon: come on. that looks cool. please welcome daniel radcliffe. ( cheers and applause ) nice to see you. thank you for being here. >> thank you very much. >> jon: i don't want...
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comedy central >> jon: welcome to "the daily show"! my name is jon stewart. good show tonight! we got a nice one for you tonight. our guest tonight, npr's juan williams will be joining us. (cheers and applause) really? he's not there anymore? (laughter) well, i'll definitely ask him about that. (laughter) but we begin, of course, with our ongoing national crisis. (laughter and applause) one week, ladies and gentlemen, for our two parties to agree to raise the country's arbitrary debt limit for the 102nd time for the drop-dead august 2 catastrophic ultimatum we've already moved twice. (laughter) and so it was under these conditions that president barack obama interrupted a bachelorette's search for love... (laughter). ... to take that long walk down "we killed bin laden" lane. >> tonight i want to talk about the debate we've been having in washington over the national debt. >> jon: the debate we've been having? (laughter) is that what that noise out of washington's been? it sounded like an a elephant seal trying to (bleep) a truck! (laughter) actually, that footage is from a few
comedy central >> jon: welcome to "the daily show"! my name is jon stewart. good show tonight! we got a nice one for you tonight. our guest tonight, npr's juan williams will be joining us. (cheers and applause) really? he's not there anymore? (laughter) well, i'll definitely ask him about that. (laughter) but we begin, of course, with our ongoing national crisis. (laughter and applause) one week, ladies and gentlemen, for our two parties to agree to raise the country's arbitrary...
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. >> jon: so.... >> a good school. >> jon: go fightin' fishers. we're close to hitting the bullshit ceiling. why should we worry? >> jon, if we reach the point where the amount of bullshit exceeds the amount of actual things we will effectively default on reality. it's already started happening. >> if you want an abortion you go to planned parenthood. that's well over 90% of what planned parenthood does. >> trying to ask what he was talking about there. i just want to give it to you ver bait... verbatim. his remark was not intended to be a factual statement. >> did you see that? when jon kyl got called on his bullshit his response was to get angry at people for expecting something other than bullshit. ( cheers and applause ) >> jon: in this time of crisis, why can't we just raise the bullshit ceiling? >> this isn't an arbitrary figure like the debt ceiling. this is real. and if we can't cut the bullshit, then there's only one solution: we as a nation need to start replacing shit with farts from our butt. >> jon: come on, jason. >> watch. factual a
. >> jon: so.... >> a good school. >> jon: go fightin' fishers. we're close to hitting the bullshit ceiling. why should we worry? >> jon, if we reach the point where the amount of bullshit exceeds the amount of actual things we will effectively default on reality. it's already started happening. >> if you want an abortion you go to planned parenthood. that's well over 90% of what planned parenthood does. >> trying to ask what he was talking about there. i...
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. >>> coming up, jon stuart cannot help himself. he can't help but make gay jokes about michele bachmann's husband. so he needs a therapist to help him pray away the gay jokes. that therapist is jerry seinfeld. >>> and when eric cantor says he will never vote for a tax increase of any kind, he is forgetting one little thing about his own record on taxes. luckily for him, and the political media has also forgotten it too. but i'll be reminding him and the political media of the day eric cantor voted to raise income taxes. that's in my "rewrite" tonight. in financial transactions... on devices... in social interactions... and applications in the cloud. some companies are worried. some, not so much. thanks to a network that secures it all and knows what to keep in, and what to keep out. outsmart the threats. see how at cisco.com cisco. the 3.6-liter pentastar v6 engine in the jeep grand cherokee has a best in class driving range of more than 500 miles per tank. which means you don't have to worry about finding a gas station. which is g
. >>> coming up, jon stuart cannot help himself. he can't help but make gay jokes about michele bachmann's husband. so he needs a therapist to help him pray away the gay jokes. that therapist is jerry seinfeld. >>> and when eric cantor says he will never vote for a tax increase of any kind, he is forgetting one little thing about his own record on taxes. luckily for him, and the political media has also forgotten it too. but i'll be reminding him and the political media of the...
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[laughter] >> jon: so even student council is bad? >> well, it's a gateway office, jon. [laughter] >> jon: john, i have a friend. i want to talk to you about him, a teenager. his son is a teenager, recently turned sullen and combative, and he's quite secretive. >> well, lucky him, john, he's okay. a time to worry is when your child becomes suspiciously extroverted, if he's suddenly fond of corny jokes or likes to walk around the dinner table shaking hands and asking, what's good here? what are we eating? when the neighbors bring a baby over, does he kiss it repeatedly on the cheek over and over again looking for the cameras? if so, bing, you he could be looking at four to eight years in the illinois statehouse followed by 15 to 20 years in prison. >> jon: terrifying, john. do you think it's getting through to the next generation? >> we can only hope, but it's not for lack of trying. already they're launching a statewide campaign to keep kids on the right track. talk to your children, jon, talk to your kids before it's too late. >> jon: thank you so much, john oliver with
[laughter] >> jon: so even student council is bad? >> well, it's a gateway office, jon. [laughter] >> jon: john, i have a friend. i want to talk to you about him, a teenager. his son is a teenager, recently turned sullen and combative, and he's quite secretive. >> well, lucky him, john, he's okay. a time to worry is when your child becomes suspiciously extroverted, if he's suddenly fond of corny jokes or likes to walk around the dinner table shaking hands and asking,...
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[laughter] >> jon: really? >> i don't make the rules, jon. jon >> jon: look. if even that guy raised taxes, doesn't that at least challenge the current republican belief system? >> cynics like you are always looking for doctrinal contradictions. >> jon: the rich now have way more wealth and income even since the 80s. republicans think tax cuts raise revenue, why not cut taxes to zero. >> jon, let me tell you parable. a holy man was in the desert and the multitudes came and said, we have no food. he said, here are five loaves and two fishes and so it was that the holy man and one of his friends sat down and ate a [bleeped] load of fish sandwiches. [laughter] >> jon: what about... [applause] what about the multitudes? >> what about 'em? are you suggesting that socialist redistribution of fish and bread? why punish the most successful fisherman? >> jon: look, i don't thi i understand this parable's message. how do the multitudes eat? >> that's not the holy man's problem. am i my brother's keeper? >> jon: that's a biblical saying. cain said that when he's trying t
[laughter] >> jon: really? >> i don't make the rules, jon. jon >> jon: look. if even that guy raised taxes, doesn't that at least challenge the current republican belief system? >> cynics like you are always looking for doctrinal contradictions. >> jon: the rich now have way more wealth and income even since the 80s. republicans think tax cuts raise revenue, why not cut taxes to zero. >> jon, let me tell you parable. a holy man was in the desert and the...
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>> jon: but isn't that... isn't it easy to say that it's a very easy thing to do to dismiss it, not all organizations that claim to be partisan are as such and they're not all created equal and what is the thing that is stymieing the debate? or allowing it to be honest? what is it that's preventing, in your mind, the honest aspect of it? >> because i think people don't listen. i think that it's right now as i said people get locked into one perspective or another and, you know, it's part of what's going on. and gulf stream to web sites with other like-minded people. they even get into subgroups of that web site and if you're not exactly on target, you're a bad guy. if you don't agree with me, you're a traitor. the last book i wrote "enough" was about bill cosby and cosby saying "we've got problems in the black community, out-of-wedlock births, high dropout rates, acceptance of the drug culture. we have to stop this." and cosby, all of a sudden he was labeled a bad guy, he's airing dirty laundry. look at what's
>> jon: but isn't that... isn't it easy to say that it's a very easy thing to do to dismiss it, not all organizations that claim to be partisan are as such and they're not all created equal and what is the thing that is stymieing the debate? or allowing it to be honest? what is it that's preventing, in your mind, the honest aspect of it? >> because i think people don't listen. i think that it's right now as i said people get locked into one perspective or another and, you know, it's...
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my name is jon stewart. welcome to the daily show. my name is jon stewart. our guest is daniel radcliffe. the star of the new flick harry potter and the half billion dollars in worldwide weekend gross. so exciting tonight. i found out something scientifically i didn't know was possible. a canadian with breed with a german. did you know that? ( cheers and applause ) i don't even know how they fit them together. they've created a new species of canad-erman. you know what? no fooling around. our top story tonight, of course, the debt ceiling. our ongoing segment. that is in no way hyperbolic as america mes closer to laying out a blanket in front of our garage and selling off all our old board games it has become clear that time for action is short. >> theate president says he wants an agreement. >> president obama set a deadline. >> president obama now says it's decision time. >> jon: snap, commander in chief throwing down a deadline. on friday the president of the united states broke out his "i mean business" podium. >> we are obviously running out of time. so
my name is jon stewart. welcome to the daily show. my name is jon stewart. our guest is daniel radcliffe. the star of the new flick harry potter and the half billion dollars in worldwide weekend gross. so exciting tonight. i found out something scientifically i didn't know was possible. a canadian with breed with a german. did you know that? ( cheers and applause ) i don't even know how they fit them together. they've created a new species of canad-erman. you know what? no fooling around. our...
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jon jon this movie, this movie, tell me about... you look very good. >> are you ever cutting to camera three? if you're not, [bleeped] the tie. i don't care. >> jon: give him three, chuck. look, look, look. oh, no, that's not working. can i tell you something, though? i like it, though. it has a certain... there's a debonair quality to it. you don't look disheveled. no matter what i do, i look disheveled. you look very sharp. >> tommy cleans up good. >> jon: tommy does clean up good. tell me about this "larry crowne." it seems like a "stella gets her groove back" for middle-aged white guys. [laughter] chew on that. chew on that. >> i'm going to. >> jon: enjoy that one. >> it started off going for that target audience, as a matter of fact. i find the middle-aged white guys are not represented enough in today's american media. [laughter] >> jon: they are victims in many respects. >> they are indeed underlings. >> jon: they are underlings. tell me about this julia roberts. she seems to have a few... >> she's a nut. she's an absolute co
jon jon this movie, this movie, tell me about... you look very good. >> are you ever cutting to camera three? if you're not, [bleeped] the tie. i don't care. >> jon: give him three, chuck. look, look, look. oh, no, that's not working. can i tell you something, though? i like it, though. it has a certain... there's a debonair quality to it. you don't look disheveled. no matter what i do, i look disheveled. you look very sharp. >> tommy cleans up good. >> jon: tommy does...
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jon, grow up. jon, grow up. >> jon: ...was it something big? ...or something small? ...something old? ...or something new? ...or maybe, just maybe... it's something you haven't seen yet. the 2nd generation of intel core processors. stunning visuals, intelligent performance. this is visibly smart. ( cheers and applause ) >> jon: welcome back. my guest tonight starring in how to succeed in business without really trying. you may know him from harry potter and the deathly hallows part 2. >> can you see anything? >> everything you touch will multiply. >> jon: come on. that looks cool. please welcome daniel radcliffe. ( cheers and applause ) nice to see you. thanks for being here. >> thank you very much for having me on. >> jon: i don't want spoilers. i don't want... i've not had a chance. does he get his ring back? >> yes. he's the central character in this film. >> jon: what an exciting time. how are you feeling right now? is it excitement over having this done? is it melancholy, bitter-sweet? >> i don't know. it's weird. when we were at the london premiere i was gettin
jon, grow up. jon, grow up. >> jon: ...was it something big? ...or something small? ...something old? ...or something new? ...or maybe, just maybe... it's something you haven't seen yet. the 2nd generation of intel core processors. stunning visuals, intelligent performance. this is visibly smart. ( cheers and applause ) >> jon: welcome back. my guest tonight starring in how to succeed in business without really trying. you may know him from harry potter and the deathly hallows part...
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. >> what is jon stewart talking about and why did stephen colbert interrupt one of my broadcasts. >> i'm in the middle of a broadcast. >> who isn't, sanjay. >> i'll explain that and more in the news right now. >> good evening, i'm don lemon. u.s. senators are on the job. the high stakes standoff over raising the nation's debt ceiling has lawmakers working this very hour. as of now, they don't agree with they're making any progress. tonight cnn has learned that mitch mcconnell is in direct contact with the white house and democratic leaders in congress met face to face with the president late this afternoon. but just a short time ago on the senate floor, senator harry reid insisted that claims a deal could be near are simply not true. >> today the speaker republican leader held a press conference to announce they're in talks with the president and that a bargain to raise the debt ceiling is in the works and is close. mr. president, members of the senate, that's not true. >> i just spent two hours with the president and vice president and leader pelosi. and it's fair for me to say that
. >> what is jon stewart talking about and why did stephen colbert interrupt one of my broadcasts. >> i'm in the middle of a broadcast. >> who isn't, sanjay. >> i'll explain that and more in the news right now. >> good evening, i'm don lemon. u.s. senators are on the job. the high stakes standoff over raising the nation's debt ceiling has lawmakers working this very hour. as of now, they don't agree with they're making any progress. tonight cnn has learned that...
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broke, unemployed shall, endlessly deployed. >> jon, jon, jon, you're hurting. i know that. >> jon: wow!, john oliver, how did you get here? >> jon, i got here the way the british people who bring comfort have traveled for hundreds of years. a magic cloak and umbrella. that is how i got here. (applause) >> how do i get here every day. >> jon: yeah. i guess you saw, i was away for a week, i come back. the news is just bleak and i'm in a bad way. >> i saw that. corruption of your national institutions have got enyou don't, haven't they, chappy? >> jon: only a trusted friend could through perhaps a comparative back and forth put my troubles in perspective. i think that would be -- >> have no fear ♪ ♪ england's here ♪ to make you feel ♪ a ittle etter ♪. >> jon: what, what just happened to your con son ants. >> we took them hem when we're elping eople. >> jon: that's charming. i think are you in own your head, quite frankly. we have real trouble in this country. >> right, jon, what would england know about a dying empire with rotting institutions. well, let
broke, unemployed shall, endlessly deployed. >> jon, jon, jon, you're hurting. i know that. >> jon: wow!, john oliver, how did you get here? >> jon, i got here the way the british people who bring comfort have traveled for hundreds of years. a magic cloak and umbrella. that is how i got here. (applause) >> how do i get here every day. >> jon: yeah. i guess you saw, i was away for a week, i come back. the news is just bleak and i'm in a bad way. >> i saw that....